Robyo wrote:Sharn appears from behind a tree, spits in his own hand, and shakes the woman's hand.
"Gruffgrowl ruguua wargrawwl. Oojwarggar Sharnralkin rawwg ruffar walla wangarrr. Gittach ruffrawwr gladdargh rawwwrr." {A pleasure to meet you, madam. I am Sharnralkin of Oojwarg clan. We will help you, if we can.}
The woman looks taken aback by the wookie approaching her. She shakes his hand with enthusiam and laughs, "Hah hah, a wookie.... Bre'un is going to shit himself." The woman takes another drink and bellows, "A'right then, get in. But mind the leather, hehe"
She spits on the floor boards again and rubs it in with her foot. She revs the engine while everyone climbs into the mule. Once everyone is on board, though maybe not completely seated, she guns the gas. The mule backfires and lurches forward at high speed. It is smoking badly and everyone can hear metal knocking on metal and there is a faint smell of burning.... something.
The woman continues drinking and talking very loudly as she drives. "My boy's name is Delez. Bre'un... piece-of-shit-good-for-nothing-low-down-worthless-sack-of-shit-wannabe-thug of a father, that cocksucker, is about as useless as tits on a Gundark. He is a big bastard, you'll know him by the scar down his face. He is such a thug, thinks that scar makes him tough. And those worthless meathead buddies of his, think they are all gangsta. (she spits) They push 'round merchants and act like muscle for da real gangs of Ord Man'ell. Ha! Ever since dat Sor'n fella came along and took tings over, they tink they are badder and badder, but they are dumber and dumber, if ya ask me.... they don't know their azzes from the business end of a blaster. Thinking they run the Fort now, humph, dey didn't even know about the attacks. OH YEAH, they are in tight with da bosses, yeah right ya ar, honey, shows wut you really know, now doesn't it?"
The mule swerves sharply to the right, nearly pitching over, "Hey, wut drunk fuks put that moisturizer out in the middla of the road, stupid-ass-dip-shit-clod-busters! Anyways...... my boy, Delez. I luv him, he is.... well.... he ain't like me or Bre'un. He is smart, he gots a future, ya see? He could be sumbody, ya know?"
She starts crying really hard, for no apparent reason. "He's special.... he just knows people, he knows what they are feelin. I... I.... I setup a chance for him to meet a teacher. He was supposed to go to the temple and get tested, since he is already so old. old? I mean, he's only 12. He has time, not like Bre'un.... piece-of-shit-good-for-nothing-low-down-worthless-sack-of-shit-wannabe-thug of a father, that cocksucker, he already wasted his life and most uv mine too. I ain't yung or such a looker anymore. But I was! Oh yeah, the boys used to chase me around the space port, they did! Why I ever fell for that piece-of-shit-good-for-nothing-low-down-worthless-sack-of-shit-wannabe-thug of a man, wut a meathead he is. Now Bre'un says Ord Man'ell isn't safe... well it's his idiut friends that are causin all the truble... but now that he's out with the bosse and not one of Soren's little pets, he thinks we're not safe 'nuff. But screw me! He took Delez and his worthless- meathead-thug-wanna-be gangstas to try to steal a ship. They need to steal a krew too, since non of morons culd fly anything themselves...."
The mule nearly tips over on a sharp corner, "Whoa! damn, they must'a came through here and changed the road! yeah, that's real fuking bright, change the road on a sharp corner. wut a bunch of no-brain civil 'ngineers we gots here on Ord Man'ell. Anyways, we gots to find Bre'un, piece-of-shit-good-for-nothing-low-down-worthless-sack-of-shit-wannabe-thug of a father, that cocksucker has pissed me off for the last time. LIke my paw always said, "you need 2 things in equal parts for a killin - whisky and a scattergun." Well I gots both today and plenty uv 'em. SHIT! where are my manners, boys, you fellas want a drink?"
The woman keeps talking and drinking the whole way to Fort Garnik, unless anyone wants to try and interrupt her stream-of-barley-conscious monologues.